At first this might sounds like a weird question… like HOW can my inner child be the boss? Am I not an adult?
I remember the exact moment it hit me—I was in conflict with one of my children, and for the first time, I felt like an adult. Not the wounded, reactive child I had been unknowingly operating from for years. Up until then, my closest relationships were minefields. When my loved ones got upset, it felt like an attack—like their emotions were a direct threat to my safety. And I reacted—sometimes by shutting down, sometimes by lashing out, always from a place of deep, unconscious fear.
For most of my life, I didn’t realize my inner child was in the driver’s seat, hijacking my emotions, dictating my reactions, and keeping me trapped in old survival patterns. But that day, something shifted. I stood in my adult self—grounded, present, and no longer ruled by the past. And that moment changed everything.
My perception of the impact of my wounded inner child changed forever. So has my perception of self.
If your wounded inner child is the one in charge, it’s going to impact many different aspects of your life.
How you trust, love, and attach to others
How you parent
Your ability to regulate and deal with conflict
Asking for what you need, including your sexual desires (and how you engage as sexual beings with lovers)
How you take the lead (or cower) in your career
Your ability to make decisions - from simple to complex choices
People-pleasing, chronic self-doubt, or the relentless need for validation
How you set (or don’t set) boundaries
Bottom line: If your wounded inner child is the one running the show, it’s not just a minor inconvenience—it’s a full-blown takeover. Every decision, every relationship, every reaction is filtered through the lens of old wounds, unmet needs, and survival strategies we picked up long before we even had words to describe them.
When your inner child is in charge, we’re living from the past, stuck in patterns that keep you small, disconnected, and craving approval. But here’s the truth—you’re not a child anymore, and you don’t have to keep playing by those old, outdated rules.
The hard truth that is also a blessing? The only way out is through.
First, it’s building your awareness. Then it’s taking action.