Sitting in victimhood can be a cushy and comfortable place to be. It’s not that being a victim IS cushy and comfortable, because it really isn’t. But playing the role of a victim relinquishes you from taking any responsibility over your life. Because really, you haven’t done anything wrong… right?
What does it mean to be a victim and sit in the role of victimhood? Let’s get clarity on what this means.
Answer these questions:
When something goes wrong, you feel sorry for yourself.
You feel like world has dealt you a shitty hand.
When you think about your life and the things that have happened to you as an adult, you often point the finger at others, accusing them of being in the wrong.
You are attached to the same narrative about your life and have trouble shifting your mind to consider another possibility.
You feel sorry for yourself when things don’t go your way.
You feel like you don’t have any control over what happens in your life.
You believe that things never go your way.
How many of these did you answer YES or SOMETIMES? As you might have guessed, the more times you answered yes, the more attached you are to the identity of being a victim.
Here’s the thing.
The experiences that happened in the first 18 years of your life are not your fault. In fact, the experiences you had growing up shape how you think, act, stay stuck and move forward. The more adverse experiences you had, the more at risk you are for adversity in adulthood (highly recommend reading this).
However, we all have the power to change how we think, feel, live and interact with this world and our lives. It’s slow, steady and life long.
And to flip adversity on it’s head, life’s challenges can be a gateway to life’s greatest gifts. Because although adversity can leave mental, emotional and physical scars, we have the control to reclaim our lives and use our experiences to heal and be healed.
However, it starts with taking responsibility:
Looking at your shadows.
Understanding the role you have played in your life.
Getting clear about the habits and patterns you live and deciphering what serves you now and what needs to be released.
Reconnecting to yourself, your body and your deepest truth.
Committing to challenging your thoughts.
Getting comfortable with discomfort.
Finally, remember that we all go through periods of our life where we sit in victimhood. It’s ok. The harm comes from staying in these places, stuck and struggling to move forward.
Turning your finger inward is where true freedom lies.