I recently connected with my maternal ancestral line and was blown away to discover how wounded the mothers before me were. And when I say before me, I mean all of them. In this connection, I could sense their sadness and their lack of knowing. They didn’t want this. But they didn’t know what to do either.
I was blown away to realize much of the mother wounds I carry… aren’t even mine. BUT I was living out these ancestral wounds in my own life: through how I parent, how I love and in the work I do. It bleeds into every aspect of my life.
MIND. BLOWN.
Mothering, when wounded, creates a cycle of pain that stretches across generations. When the mother line is fractured—through neglect, conditional love, mistrust, or unhealed trauma—it directly impacts our children. Lack of guidance or nurturing leaves children unsure of how to mother themselves, repeating the cycle with their own children and, often, with the women around them.
The wounds of mothering is seen in the actions we take and the way we feel and it shows up in a variety of ways:
hovering or “helicoptering” over children out of fear
overwhelming guilt
shame about their own inadequacies and worries she failed as a mother
deep mistrust of their own instincts and abilities
trapped in a loop of self-doubt
creating limits in love where it’s perceived as conditional
lose/rigid boundaries, where you struggle to hold limits or are too rigid with others
Take a moment to sit with this list. Do any of these resonate?
Give yourself space to process.
Healing creates empowerment because when we shift internally, we shift externally. The way you feel has a direct impact of the actions you take.
Healing motherhood cultivates real, unconditional love. A grounded mother doesn’t coddle or hover—she guides, nurtures, teaches, sets standards, and gives tough love because she knows her kids have everything they need to thrive. She doesn’t shield them from pain; instead, she’s there to support them, solid as a rock, when they fall. She lets them feel the struggle, the hurt, and the mess, but she’s always there to help them rise again, stronger. It’s not about saving them—it’s about teaching them to save themselves. And that’s how real empowerment is built.
Mothering is about presence… imperfect as fuck. But it’s knowing that because you will keep showing up, owning your challenges and barriers and figuring it out as you go, we liberate our wounds and that of our children to know it’s ok to fall, get back up, and keep going… on repeat.
I’m here to tell you that shifting from wounded mothering to one that is real, empowered and rooted in love is possible.
And I really didn’t know that it could be. Thank fucking god I was wrong.
Doing the internal work to start mothering yourself really does pay off.